Prologue:
There is a traditional Japanese children's game called "Ohajkiki." They look something like this:
Basically, they look like flat marbles. You spread them on a table and you snap one into another using just one finger. When they successfully run into each other, you can take one. You repeat this process until all is gone and the person who takes the most wins. Pretty simple. Trying to find new ways to play, I purchased this at a local Japanese book store and Yuki was enamored. We played several rounds. I was pleased.
The Story:
The next morning, Yuki declared she wanted to these to her after school program. While school does not allow any toys from home, her after school program allows one toy. She typically puts that one item in the pocket of her back pack and will take it out when she gets there. I advised her that since these are so small and has many parts, this was not the best thing to take and she should choose something else. She refused. I tried to explained to her why I thought it was a bad idea and she still refused. We do not have time for a long negotiation in our morning routine. There is bus to be caught. Finally, I said "if you take it, it would be against my will." to which she replied, "FINE."
I was pissed.
I often get annoyed by her sassy remarks but not angry. At least not this fast. I had been in rehearsal working late so I was exhausted. And because I had been in rehearsal, Yuki was cranky. So there was some undercurrent of bad feelings and we both decided to pick this fight, which was both productive and smart.
As we walked to the bus, we were silent at first. Then I said, "how do you feel about disobeying me like this?" Yuki said, "I feel fine about it."
I was more pissed. I shouldn't have asked.
We got to the bus stop. Having the personal policy of "never part angry," I grabbed her at the last minute and said, "keep track, OK?" and kissed her head. Yuki twisted away from me and got on the bus and didn't even look back or out the window. That was a first.
I felt angry and sad all day like I had a fight with a friend. I was mostly frustrated with myself that I did not handle the situation better. And some work stuff happened on top of it which made my mood go from bad to worse.
Then while in rehearsal, I get a text from Philip (who was informed of this situation) that said,
"well, there you go," along with a photo:
I was stunned.
Apparently, she took them out while they were outside and did god knows what with them and lost track of them. Because I was already on the cranky train, this angered me at first but then I realized that the universe was actually on my side. This was suddenly like that don't-play-ball-in-the-house episode of The Brady Bunch. Oh how she must have heard my voice echoing in her head. Is there a better moment for her to realize, "Mama was right?"
The marbles were all of $3 so I did not actually care that they were lost. I was a little sad though about not being able to play that again for a while since going out and replacing it would not be a good message. That feeling was compounded by the fact that Yuki loved playing it. Ah well. We'll get them again later. Most importantly, I. Was. Right.
I got home late that night so I did not see her. The next morning, when I went to wake her up, she jumped up and cried and hugged me around the neck and said,
"Mama, I should have listen to you and not took them to school! I'm sorry (sob)."
This time, I was able to remain composed. I hugged her and just said, "yeah..."
Then she told me how she made some signs and she was going to put them up at school. I told her to make sure it was OK with her teacher before she did it. She promised.
Later that day, I get a text from Yuki's friend's mom Julie who volunteers in their class room with the photo of the sign. She says, "how awesome is your daughter?" I say "oh you have no idea what went down." Then she told me that when she first saw the sign, she did not know what they were so she asked Yuki's teacher. Her teacher said, "oh, Yuki lost her marbles." Then they both cracked up. Hearing this, Yuki looked at them funny and despite their attempt to explain why they were laughing, she turned and walked away. Julie later apologized to me and told me that she was convinced Yuki no longer liked her. I told her she did, in fact, lose her marbles both figuratively and literally and she will get over it.
Epilogue:
Some kindergarteners actually found a couple of them and brought them to Yuki. I guess the sign worked a little. I found that to be adorable. Must have been a big moment for those kindergarteners. We are still missing about 25 out of 30.
I wonder if this is a story she will remember in her adult life.
There is a traditional Japanese children's game called "Ohajkiki." They look something like this:
Basically, they look like flat marbles. You spread them on a table and you snap one into another using just one finger. When they successfully run into each other, you can take one. You repeat this process until all is gone and the person who takes the most wins. Pretty simple. Trying to find new ways to play, I purchased this at a local Japanese book store and Yuki was enamored. We played several rounds. I was pleased.
The Story:
The next morning, Yuki declared she wanted to these to her after school program. While school does not allow any toys from home, her after school program allows one toy. She typically puts that one item in the pocket of her back pack and will take it out when she gets there. I advised her that since these are so small and has many parts, this was not the best thing to take and she should choose something else. She refused. I tried to explained to her why I thought it was a bad idea and she still refused. We do not have time for a long negotiation in our morning routine. There is bus to be caught. Finally, I said "if you take it, it would be against my will." to which she replied, "FINE."
I was pissed.
I often get annoyed by her sassy remarks but not angry. At least not this fast. I had been in rehearsal working late so I was exhausted. And because I had been in rehearsal, Yuki was cranky. So there was some undercurrent of bad feelings and we both decided to pick this fight, which was both productive and smart.
As we walked to the bus, we were silent at first. Then I said, "how do you feel about disobeying me like this?" Yuki said, "I feel fine about it."
I was more pissed. I shouldn't have asked.
We got to the bus stop. Having the personal policy of "never part angry," I grabbed her at the last minute and said, "keep track, OK?" and kissed her head. Yuki twisted away from me and got on the bus and didn't even look back or out the window. That was a first.
I felt angry and sad all day like I had a fight with a friend. I was mostly frustrated with myself that I did not handle the situation better. And some work stuff happened on top of it which made my mood go from bad to worse.
Then while in rehearsal, I get a text from Philip (who was informed of this situation) that said,
"well, there you go," along with a photo:
I was stunned.
Apparently, she took them out while they were outside and did god knows what with them and lost track of them. Because I was already on the cranky train, this angered me at first but then I realized that the universe was actually on my side. This was suddenly like that don't-play-ball-in-the-house episode of The Brady Bunch. Oh how she must have heard my voice echoing in her head. Is there a better moment for her to realize, "Mama was right?"
The marbles were all of $3 so I did not actually care that they were lost. I was a little sad though about not being able to play that again for a while since going out and replacing it would not be a good message. That feeling was compounded by the fact that Yuki loved playing it. Ah well. We'll get them again later. Most importantly, I. Was. Right.
I got home late that night so I did not see her. The next morning, when I went to wake her up, she jumped up and cried and hugged me around the neck and said,
"Mama, I should have listen to you and not took them to school! I'm sorry (sob)."
This time, I was able to remain composed. I hugged her and just said, "yeah..."
Then she told me how she made some signs and she was going to put them up at school. I told her to make sure it was OK with her teacher before she did it. She promised.
Later that day, I get a text from Yuki's friend's mom Julie who volunteers in their class room with the photo of the sign. She says, "how awesome is your daughter?" I say "oh you have no idea what went down." Then she told me that when she first saw the sign, she did not know what they were so she asked Yuki's teacher. Her teacher said, "oh, Yuki lost her marbles." Then they both cracked up. Hearing this, Yuki looked at them funny and despite their attempt to explain why they were laughing, she turned and walked away. Julie later apologized to me and told me that she was convinced Yuki no longer liked her. I told her she did, in fact, lose her marbles both figuratively and literally and she will get over it.
Epilogue:
Some kindergarteners actually found a couple of them and brought them to Yuki. I guess the sign worked a little. I found that to be adorable. Must have been a big moment for those kindergarteners. We are still missing about 25 out of 30.
I wonder if this is a story she will remember in her adult life.
Comments
And what you get is, of course, "I dunno."
Very disappointing.
xo
gibs