It has been roughly six months since our last visit to Tokyo, which is a pretty short time compared to our previous cycle of 12 to 18 months. But since my mother's passing in October, I wanted to make an effort to visit my father slightly more often so we decided to take a trip while the weather was still pleasant there. It was totally insane though to try to leave just three days after Yuki's 5th birthday (yes, I said 5th--what is THAT??), which kind of blew up into this whole pirate extravaganza as birthdays do sometimes.
Anyway, we did all that, wrapped up things at our jobs, threw some things into suitcases and poured onto a 10 hour flight. This was Yuki's fourth trip, with twice happening last year, so she is now versed in long flights. And by "versed" I just mean we throw all of our regulated "screen time" rules out the airplane window and she gets to watch an unlimited amount of TV. What kid doesn't love that? Thank you, modern technology and in flight entertainment!).
The whole point of this visit was to be with my family (as opposed to packing our schedule with child entertainment) so we took it fairly easy. We took a trip up to our family cabin in Lake Nojiri in Nagano, all nine of us, which was a record. We took some day trips, Yuki sat with her favorite cousin Ayana and demanded she'd be with her at every waking moment, which to a preteen girl was taxing, I am sure.
There were some exciting points like Yuki having an "accident" (not a car accident, a pee-pee accident) in a car while riding in a different car from us which resulted in both cars stopping at Aeon (a Wal-mart-like store) and buying an entire outfit because SHE IS NOW FIVE AND WE THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH PACKING BACK UP CLOTHES. Sigh. Well, put it this way, now she has new underwear that are of Japanese quality (thick, cushy, frilly and pink).
Another was a 15 minute talk-down outside a sushi restaurant while my family waited in the cars because Yuki wouldn't agree to something I asked her to do. 15 minutes of screaming. Good times.
Before this trip, she hit a phase in which she was starting to be disagreeable about every little thing and would throw her self into fits of rage. It has been a pretty smooth year so this was puzzling and frustrating. After trying a few obvious things that didn't have a lasting effect, I came up with a report card system (really, out of nowhere) where we printed out a calendar page (note: Hello Kitty) and review her behavior on each day and if we agreed that she had a good day of listening and turning her behavior around, she would get a star. At the end of the week, we would count the stars and if she got more than 5, she would get a small LEGO prize (which she is koo-koo for at the moment), and if she got 7 stars, she would get 2 prizes. She did pretty well for the three weeks prior to Japan, but then while on vacation, she pretty much received no stars. I'm sure the unstructured life style was much to blame and there are many things she has to mind in Tokyo that she wouldn't in Seattle, mostly to do with how to maneuver crowds and narrow streets with cars zooming by. We always tell her that when it comes to her safety, there is no room for discussion. She has to do what we ask her. But boy, she pushed those buttons. The only threat we could make that was effective was "if you keep this up, you're not going to Disney Sea." We know by now that good parents don't threaten their children and if they do, the say something they can actually stick to so we actually said, "we're going to Disney Sea without you because we already said we'll meet our friends there." And I was actually serious. I have to say, this worked pretty well because Disney Sea was scheduled near the end of our trip (why do I feel like our parenting has gotten sloppier lately?). She managed to work on those things--though not as well as she did in Seattle--and the big day came.
It started with an alarm sounding at 6:00 a.m. with which Yuki went from dead asleep to standing in one move. Never in her 5 years of life has she woken in such a military manner. She then ran over to Philip and climbed him like a monkey. We had a time to keep because we were meeting the aforementioned friends, Miki and her son. We went to Tokyo Disneyland with them last year, and it seemed that we were now in a trend to go to all things amusement park related with them. They could only stay until 1:30 so we decided to meet right at 9:00 am at the front gate for Disney Sea. It takes just under 2 hours to get there by train so we had to leave by 7:15. We did something we never do which is to ride the rush hour subway but we managed and got there just about on time. The place was pretty empty because it was right after a series of national holidays called "Golden Week" so we not only rode everything Yuki could, but many things twice without waiting (our nieces were outraged when I told them that the waiting time of Tower of Terror, which we didn't ride was only 15 minutes). There were some moments that came close to a melt down (like she didn't want the ride to end) but snapped out of it when Philip said "You are ON a ride at Disney Sea that you didn't have to wait for. You DO NOT get to cry." We stayed long after Miki and her son had to leave--8:00pm to be precise--and took the 2-hour train ride home. I can't believe (well, I guess I can in a way) she lasted that long and walked all of it because I thought my legs were going to fall off.
Oh, except for the part where Philip carried her for an hour because she fell asleep on the subway. (Yes, Philip wrote that part)
Other than that we went to an aquarium, and a couple of other small museums, saw some other friends, took many subway rides as we do and hang out. Yuki ate some form of ice cream or sweet treats everyday in a way that she never gets to in Seattle--ah, vacation parenting.
I noticed for the first time, Yuki said on several occasion that she wanted to stay and go to the school my niece goes to. She said she prefers to speak Japanese and that she didn't want to go back. If my life consisted of going to museums and Disney Sea and eating ice cream every day, I would feel that way also. But I think this time, she was understanding some difference in culture beyond that and was feeling some longing for it. She got very sad at the airport and I kept reminding her that we will be back many times and that we should practice our Japanese so we can be better at speaking to her cousins and friends next time. Having lived in the States for nearly 30 years (!!) and done the trip back home many times, I wanted to convey to her that I understood her feelings profoundly. I felt some camaraderie in this feeling and at the same time, felt slightly guilty for creating this torn feelings I grapple with in her. It is a blessing and a curse to be bi-cultural for sure. I always think of Alan Say's book, Grand Father's Journey, in which he talks about how much his grandfather loved both Japan and America and always missed one place when he lived in the other and how he came to understand his feelings later in life. This was now quite obviously something I was passing down to my daughter and I felt responsible. But at the same time, I hope she will feel that it's a gift and learn to honor those feelings.
As we got into our car in Seattle, Yuki sat in her booster seat, took a moment and said, "I missed Seattle." Us too, kiddo. All of it.
Next year she gets a cupcake and a phone call from a friend.
Anyway, we did all that, wrapped up things at our jobs, threw some things into suitcases and poured onto a 10 hour flight. This was Yuki's fourth trip, with twice happening last year, so she is now versed in long flights. And by "versed" I just mean we throw all of our regulated "screen time" rules out the airplane window and she gets to watch an unlimited amount of TV. What kid doesn't love that? Thank you, modern technology and in flight entertainment!).
The whole point of this visit was to be with my family (as opposed to packing our schedule with child entertainment) so we took it fairly easy. We took a trip up to our family cabin in Lake Nojiri in Nagano, all nine of us, which was a record. We took some day trips, Yuki sat with her favorite cousin Ayana and demanded she'd be with her at every waking moment, which to a preteen girl was taxing, I am sure.
Little does Ayana remember that she was dragging me (Philip, who is writing these captions) around Japan in much the same way, just a few short years ago. I have no sympathy for her.
There were some exciting points like Yuki having an "accident" (not a car accident, a pee-pee accident) in a car while riding in a different car from us which resulted in both cars stopping at Aeon (a Wal-mart-like store) and buying an entire outfit because SHE IS NOW FIVE AND WE THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH PACKING BACK UP CLOTHES. Sigh. Well, put it this way, now she has new underwear that are of Japanese quality (thick, cushy, frilly and pink).
Another was a 15 minute talk-down outside a sushi restaurant while my family waited in the cars because Yuki wouldn't agree to something I asked her to do. 15 minutes of screaming. Good times.
Before this trip, she hit a phase in which she was starting to be disagreeable about every little thing and would throw her self into fits of rage. It has been a pretty smooth year so this was puzzling and frustrating. After trying a few obvious things that didn't have a lasting effect, I came up with a report card system (really, out of nowhere) where we printed out a calendar page (note: Hello Kitty) and review her behavior on each day and if we agreed that she had a good day of listening and turning her behavior around, she would get a star. At the end of the week, we would count the stars and if she got more than 5, she would get a small LEGO prize (which she is koo-koo for at the moment), and if she got 7 stars, she would get 2 prizes. She did pretty well for the three weeks prior to Japan, but then while on vacation, she pretty much received no stars. I'm sure the unstructured life style was much to blame and there are many things she has to mind in Tokyo that she wouldn't in Seattle, mostly to do with how to maneuver crowds and narrow streets with cars zooming by. We always tell her that when it comes to her safety, there is no room for discussion. She has to do what we ask her. But boy, she pushed those buttons. The only threat we could make that was effective was "if you keep this up, you're not going to Disney Sea." We know by now that good parents don't threaten their children and if they do, the say something they can actually stick to so we actually said, "we're going to Disney Sea without you because we already said we'll meet our friends there." And I was actually serious. I have to say, this worked pretty well because Disney Sea was scheduled near the end of our trip (why do I feel like our parenting has gotten sloppier lately?). She managed to work on those things--though not as well as she did in Seattle--and the big day came.
It started with an alarm sounding at 6:00 a.m. with which Yuki went from dead asleep to standing in one move. Never in her 5 years of life has she woken in such a military manner. She then ran over to Philip and climbed him like a monkey. We had a time to keep because we were meeting the aforementioned friends, Miki and her son. We went to Tokyo Disneyland with them last year, and it seemed that we were now in a trend to go to all things amusement park related with them. They could only stay until 1:30 so we decided to meet right at 9:00 am at the front gate for Disney Sea. It takes just under 2 hours to get there by train so we had to leave by 7:15. We did something we never do which is to ride the rush hour subway but we managed and got there just about on time. The place was pretty empty because it was right after a series of national holidays called "Golden Week" so we not only rode everything Yuki could, but many things twice without waiting (our nieces were outraged when I told them that the waiting time of Tower of Terror, which we didn't ride was only 15 minutes). There were some moments that came close to a melt down (like she didn't want the ride to end) but snapped out of it when Philip said "You are ON a ride at Disney Sea that you didn't have to wait for. You DO NOT get to cry." We stayed long after Miki and her son had to leave--8:00pm to be precise--and took the 2-hour train ride home. I can't believe (well, I guess I can in a way) she lasted that long and walked all of it because I thought my legs were going to fall off.
This photo gives you no idea about the park and I don't care. Look at them faces!
Oh, except for the part where Philip carried her for an hour because she fell asleep on the subway. (Yes, Philip wrote that part)
Other than that we went to an aquarium, and a couple of other small museums, saw some other friends, took many subway rides as we do and hang out. Yuki ate some form of ice cream or sweet treats everyday in a way that she never gets to in Seattle--ah, vacation parenting.
The best kaiten (conveyer belt) sushi place in Nagano. All she wanted was the ice cream.
I noticed for the first time, Yuki said on several occasion that she wanted to stay and go to the school my niece goes to. She said she prefers to speak Japanese and that she didn't want to go back. If my life consisted of going to museums and Disney Sea and eating ice cream every day, I would feel that way also. But I think this time, she was understanding some difference in culture beyond that and was feeling some longing for it. She got very sad at the airport and I kept reminding her that we will be back many times and that we should practice our Japanese so we can be better at speaking to her cousins and friends next time. Having lived in the States for nearly 30 years (!!) and done the trip back home many times, I wanted to convey to her that I understood her feelings profoundly. I felt some camaraderie in this feeling and at the same time, felt slightly guilty for creating this torn feelings I grapple with in her. It is a blessing and a curse to be bi-cultural for sure. I always think of Alan Say's book, Grand Father's Journey, in which he talks about how much his grandfather loved both Japan and America and always missed one place when he lived in the other and how he came to understand his feelings later in life. This was now quite obviously something I was passing down to my daughter and I felt responsible. But at the same time, I hope she will feel that it's a gift and learn to honor those feelings.
As we got into our car in Seattle, Yuki sat in her booster seat, took a moment and said, "I missed Seattle." Us too, kiddo. All of it.
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Judy