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let me tell you ...

...about breakfast with two time outs and continuous crying.

[This is an email I received at work this morning from Mimi. It is reprinted here, verbatim, save for one minor expletive deleted. --Philip]

She woke up in a good mood, chatty and cute. Then I noticed that she had a pretty long scratch on her leg (I think from her finger nail) and she looked at me and said, "Sponge Bob Band Aid." So we went downstairs without pants so that we can put a band aid there (alas, there is an actual wound--I thought) and I put a little medicine on there and pulled out Sponge Bob and then she FREAKED. I have no idea why. She acted like she didn't want that, so I thought maybe she wanted a different SB, so I suggested that and she FREAKED bigger. So then I put the band aids aside and sat her in time out. She calmed down. Said sorry. Hugged. Stood up. We put SB on without incident, then I went to put her pants on and she FREAKED again. I tried to tell her that she had to put pants on to go out, but she wanted to see the band aid so she flailed and screamed, so back to time out. It is only 8:07 at this point, by the way. We haven't even gotten to milk, or coffee for me. Then she comes out, able to put pants on, then she asks for milk so I sit her down and give her milk and make oatmeal--then she decided she didn't want SB after all so she FREAKS yet again and screams through milk drinking, which causes her to spill on her pants that took me 14 hours to put on. I go back and take her pants off, then make her tell me what she wanted without crying, then she says. "Kitty-chan." So then I get the Kitty band aid, take off SB, go to replace it, then she wants the medicine on, so I apply the f***ing ointment, then put Kitty on. She is happy. For a moment. Then she FREAKS at the idea that I now have to get her a different pair of pants because her old ones have milk all over them. So I tell her she may eat her breakfast without pants. She does. Two bowls of oatmeal and a handful of cereal and two cups of milk. I guess all the FREAKING made her hungry. I finally have a sip of my coffee. It is now 8:45.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Is her real name Jackson???
Everywhereist said…
THAT IS AWESOME. I can't wait to have kids. Thanks, Mimi and Philip!
Oh, oh, oh... this is my life times 100. If we don't get Elena her cup of ovaltine within 15 minutes of her waking up, all hell breaks loose, aka nonstop hysterical low blood sugar FREAKING. Sometimes she starts losing it as the ovaltine is heating in the microwave (60 seconds) and by the time we get it into her hands, she is shaking with anticipation and the cocoa spills down her pajamas and on the floor and her little hands are wobbly and she is gulping and gulping and I cannot help but think of a heroin addict. Oh-- and don't get me started on bandaids (or as she calls them: bandeeds)When she actually needs one, she refuses to let me put on on the owie and when she does not need one, she covers her body with them. I think I recall screaming at her "BUT IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?" No, she doesn't. She is two. And terrible.
Michelle said…
Wow, she's only been two for a few months and already she's so GOOD at it. What an overachiever you have there.
Lisa Tucker said…
Obviously, she is just bein' a big baby. Sigh. Mimi, I don't know how you went that long without coffee. I mean it. I'm like Elena and her Ovaltine with my coffee.