There are a lot of things that I say now that I never imagined I would say. I'm not talking about those things my father said that I swore I'd never say, like, "You're not going out of my house dressed like that!" or "Confound it, you people infuriate me!" No, tonight's phrase is one that comes up a lot and some day I hope I won't have to say it anymore. The sage fatherly advice in question is, "Don't drink water that has your butt in it." Kiddo likes to try to drink the water in the bathtub. We're working on her not doing that.
Anyway, Dadoo started his new job today. I think it's going to be okay. I met the entire company in about 10 minutes, everybody is very nice and a little bit sarcastic, which is perfect for me. The Art Director (my boss) and the Web Designer are mean to each other in a really hilarious way, so I felt pretty comfortable from the outset. The new boss even took me out to lunch and told me that she was going to give me a couple of weeks to get acclimated before she started assigning me projects. Weeks? Neat. I'm rather used to "Here's your desk, you're behind schedule" when I start a new job, so this current arrangement seems pretty sweet. Long may it continue.
Here's the picture of Yuki I brought to put on my wall:
This was from the day she went through the laundry basket (clean) and decided to wear a bib and a scarf, then dance around the kitchen. I'm going to miss days like this, although I suppose if I want my daughter to grow up with any kind of work ethic, it will be good for me to have a job to go to every day. Stupid adult responsibilities.
And, yes, I will print a picture of Mimi to put on my wall, too.
Other things I will miss by not being home every day:
Though some days, Yuki eats cereal for dinner so I guess I can just pretend it's breakfast. Yes, we let her eat cereal for dinner. The alternative is not eating. I already said I was going to try to raise her with a strong work ethic (I know I said "any kind of work ethic," I just hope it's strong). What more do you want from me?
Yes, I'll even miss her spiraling into absolute despair when we can't figure out what she wants when she screams "Baby! Baay-bee! Bay-ay-ay-beeeee!" over and over (and over). "Which baby? Yogurt? Cereal? The photo album? Video camera? Did you say 'Brobee?'"
Sometimes we read them. Sometimes she just flips through the pages. Sometimes she pulls them all down from the bookshelf and walks around on them, then puts them back and does it again. We have had many productive afternoons with this activity.
We call her "Darth Cutie Pie." She is going to subjugate the Rebellion by batting her eyelashes! Sigh. She has moved beyond wearing our shoes, and now likes to wear our jackets. Of course, if she straightens her arms, the jacket falls off but I bet you didn't know how much fun you could have putting a jacket on your child every 15 seconds for 45 minutes.
Have you noticed Kiddo's large, attractive forehead? It's just like her father's forehead. We call it the fivehead. Such a lovely forehead. Wha-? What's this?
Damn.
Hello Head Wound. While out on a lovely Sunday stroll, kiddo used her head to show us the uneven sidewalk in front of the neighbor's house. This one went beyond a scrape, so I'll spare you the unbandaged photos. This one was epic. There was crying. There was screaming. There was Dadoo almost passing out. There was us knocking on our other neighbor's door, the one who is a pediatric nurse, to ask if she thought Yuki should get stitches. (She didn't. -- Mimi)
Anyway, I did almost faint, but not from the blood. I think it was from the "Did I just see my daughter's skull?" She's doing fine and the wound doesn't look nearly as bad today. We are applying antibiotic ointment in the hopes that the scar won't be too severe. I don't mind if my kid gets scars. It happens. I have a couple, but at least I know what they are from (the one on my head from when I fell off a bar stool onto the TV table, the one on my lip from when my sister punched me, the one on my knee from when the front tire came off my bike while I was in mid-air). I don't want Yuki to spend the rest of her life explaining, "Oh this? This enormous disfigurement in the middle of my forehead that I can't ever cover up? That's the one from I have bad parents."
And this is what keeps me up at night.
Anyway, Dadoo started his new job today. I think it's going to be okay. I met the entire company in about 10 minutes, everybody is very nice and a little bit sarcastic, which is perfect for me. The Art Director (my boss) and the Web Designer are mean to each other in a really hilarious way, so I felt pretty comfortable from the outset. The new boss even took me out to lunch and told me that she was going to give me a couple of weeks to get acclimated before she started assigning me projects. Weeks? Neat. I'm rather used to "Here's your desk, you're behind schedule" when I start a new job, so this current arrangement seems pretty sweet. Long may it continue.
Here's the picture of Yuki I brought to put on my wall:
This was from the day she went through the laundry basket (clean) and decided to wear a bib and a scarf, then dance around the kitchen. I'm going to miss days like this, although I suppose if I want my daughter to grow up with any kind of work ethic, it will be good for me to have a job to go to every day. Stupid adult responsibilities.And, yes, I will print a picture of Mimi to put on my wall, too.
Other things I will miss by not being home every day:
- Leisurely breakfasts with the Gabba Gang
Though some days, Yuki eats cereal for dinner so I guess I can just pretend it's breakfast. Yes, we let her eat cereal for dinner. The alternative is not eating. I already said I was going to try to raise her with a strong work ethic (I know I said "any kind of work ethic," I just hope it's strong). What more do you want from me?- Cranky Pants
Yes, I'll even miss her spiraling into absolute despair when we can't figure out what she wants when she screams "Baby! Baay-bee! Bay-ay-ay-beeeee!" over and over (and over). "Which baby? Yogurt? Cereal? The photo album? Video camera? Did you say 'Brobee?'"
- Books
Sometimes we read them. Sometimes she just flips through the pages. Sometimes she pulls them all down from the bookshelf and walks around on them, then puts them back and does it again. We have had many productive afternoons with this activity.
- This.
We call her "Darth Cutie Pie." She is going to subjugate the Rebellion by batting her eyelashes! Sigh. She has moved beyond wearing our shoes, and now likes to wear our jackets. Of course, if she straightens her arms, the jacket falls off but I bet you didn't know how much fun you could have putting a jacket on your child every 15 seconds for 45 minutes.
Have you noticed Kiddo's large, attractive forehead? It's just like her father's forehead. We call it the fivehead. Such a lovely forehead. Wha-? What's this?
Damn.Hello Head Wound. While out on a lovely Sunday stroll, kiddo used her head to show us the uneven sidewalk in front of the neighbor's house. This one went beyond a scrape, so I'll spare you the unbandaged photos. This one was epic. There was crying. There was screaming. There was Dadoo almost passing out. There was us knocking on our other neighbor's door, the one who is a pediatric nurse, to ask if she thought Yuki should get stitches. (She didn't. -- Mimi)
Anyway, I did almost faint, but not from the blood. I think it was from the "Did I just see my daughter's skull?" She's doing fine and the wound doesn't look nearly as bad today. We are applying antibiotic ointment in the hopes that the scar won't be too severe. I don't mind if my kid gets scars. It happens. I have a couple, but at least I know what they are from (the one on my head from when I fell off a bar stool onto the TV table, the one on my lip from when my sister punched me, the one on my knee from when the front tire came off my bike while I was in mid-air). I don't want Yuki to spend the rest of her life explaining, "Oh this? This enormous disfigurement in the middle of my forehead that I can't ever cover up? That's the one from I have bad parents."
And this is what keeps me up at night.
Comments
"Fine, you can wear your underwear on your head, but you MAY NOT wear it out of the house."
and
"Please don't stick the dinosaur up your nose."
Walk (skate, ride, DRIVE) where your nose is pointing!
Take your hand off your penis!
I know you have to go to the bathroom, you are doing the pee-pee dance!
Please get a tissue if you are going to pick your nose.
Take your hand off your penis!
No one will want to sit with you if you chew like that!
FLUSH!!! Every time!!
TAKE YOUR HAND OFF YOUR PENIS! (I know you will not say that to your daughter, but I say it at least 25 times a day!)
Not drinking water that your butt is in is only the beginning!!
Judy (mother of four)
and cereal for dinner?? It's still a favorite around here! That and chocolate chip pancakes!
And if you are "bad" parents - I'm in big trouble! Matt walked around for 3 days with 3 broken foot bones. They were already healing when I took him in. And a when I finally took him to the dr for a gash on his knee I was told that it most certainly should have had stitches but was now too late! Brian spent almost a whole day with a dislocated elbow that I kept saying was just fine. GAH!
By the way which sister punched you? Not me for sure right??
xo
gibs
curtis