I have a Vietnamese friend who is very petite. When she got pregnant, she didn’t show much until the last month and was very disappointed. “What’s the point of being pregnant” she asked, “if you can’t get people to open the door for you and give you a seat on the bus?” Asian women don’t show the same way as non-Asian women do. We have long torsos so there is a lot of room for the baby before it has to grow forward. I seem to be the same way. Philip’s sisters kept saying that they had bigger stomachs than I did. They even suggested that we all line up our stomachs and take a picture to prove this point. When Philip went into the other room to get the camera, they all took off leaving tumbleweeds and spinning cereal bowls in their wake.
But this has not stopped me from now saying, “I’m pregnant.”
During Thanksgiving weekend, a bunch of us went to see the new 007 movie at the Cinerama. It was only a couple of weeks after the release so the place was packed. I requested to sit on the aisle because I need to pee more frequently and I was having some lower back issues so in case I needed to excuse myself, I thought this was a wise choice. My friends kindly gave me the aisle and the film began. But because two of our group had to go right after the film started (due to sudden illness) there were two vacant seats in the middle of the row. There were a few people who were sitting in the aisle because they came too late and couldn’t sit together. One of those ill-prepared people started bugging my friends, asking if anyone was going to sit in the empty seats and if not could we all scoot over so that they could take the seats at the end. I love people who have no qualms about inconveniencing 7 complete strangers who are watching a movie so they can have what they want even though we stood in line for 45 minutes and they didn't. Anyway, my friends said, that they are welcome to sit there but their friend -- me -- needed the aisle. They didn’t back down. The guy of the trio finally came to me, and asked the same thing. I said, “You can take the seats.” Then he said, “I was hoping you would move over so that two of my friends can sit on the end and I will sit next to them in the aisle.” I replied,
“I need the aisle BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT.”
The guy leaned away from me with his hands up in the air and said, “Oh, you are? Oh, okay, no problem. Sorry.”
It was as if I said, “I need the aisle because I have a gun.” I couldn't believe it. I think I happened upon a perfect target for this comment. A single man. He had no idea what “I’m pregnant” actually meant. But he knew enough not to mess with that. I didn’t even know what I meant. But it worked. After the movie, my friends all high-fived me. This is dangerous. I have now learned the power of this phrase. And I’m going to use it.
I shared this story with the production staff at work. And the Stage Manager, as a ploy to get our graduating seniors to turn in their paperwork to me said, “You have to get this done. Mimi is pregnant.” Very soon after, they all turned it in. It works even when it’s once removed -- and it doesn’t even make sense.
Telling people that I am pregnant took a long time. We felt like if we said it out loud, our luck would change somehow. It felt safer keeping it to ourselves. The first couple of times were difficult. I didn’t know how to receive such joyful responses. I had completely trained myself to be so cautious to a point that I didn’t know how to believe it. Suddenly I felt I was not deserving. I thought about people who have struggled far more than we have and were never able to conceive. I felt like I left those people behind. I tell you, there is no bigger guilt than from growing up Catholic and Japanese. But Philip started to tell people at work and he told me it was fun. And that it did his soul good. So slowly and cautiously, I followed. And he is right. It is good. Now I’m abusing it.
But this has not stopped me from now saying, “I’m pregnant.”
During Thanksgiving weekend, a bunch of us went to see the new 007 movie at the Cinerama. It was only a couple of weeks after the release so the place was packed. I requested to sit on the aisle because I need to pee more frequently and I was having some lower back issues so in case I needed to excuse myself, I thought this was a wise choice. My friends kindly gave me the aisle and the film began. But because two of our group had to go right after the film started (due to sudden illness) there were two vacant seats in the middle of the row. There were a few people who were sitting in the aisle because they came too late and couldn’t sit together. One of those ill-prepared people started bugging my friends, asking if anyone was going to sit in the empty seats and if not could we all scoot over so that they could take the seats at the end. I love people who have no qualms about inconveniencing 7 complete strangers who are watching a movie so they can have what they want even though we stood in line for 45 minutes and they didn't. Anyway, my friends said, that they are welcome to sit there but their friend -- me -- needed the aisle. They didn’t back down. The guy of the trio finally came to me, and asked the same thing. I said, “You can take the seats.” Then he said, “I was hoping you would move over so that two of my friends can sit on the end and I will sit next to them in the aisle.” I replied,
“I need the aisle BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT.”
The guy leaned away from me with his hands up in the air and said, “Oh, you are? Oh, okay, no problem. Sorry.”
It was as if I said, “I need the aisle because I have a gun.” I couldn't believe it. I think I happened upon a perfect target for this comment. A single man. He had no idea what “I’m pregnant” actually meant. But he knew enough not to mess with that. I didn’t even know what I meant. But it worked. After the movie, my friends all high-fived me. This is dangerous. I have now learned the power of this phrase. And I’m going to use it.
I shared this story with the production staff at work. And the Stage Manager, as a ploy to get our graduating seniors to turn in their paperwork to me said, “You have to get this done. Mimi is pregnant.” Very soon after, they all turned it in. It works even when it’s once removed -- and it doesn’t even make sense.
Telling people that I am pregnant took a long time. We felt like if we said it out loud, our luck would change somehow. It felt safer keeping it to ourselves. The first couple of times were difficult. I didn’t know how to receive such joyful responses. I had completely trained myself to be so cautious to a point that I didn’t know how to believe it. Suddenly I felt I was not deserving. I thought about people who have struggled far more than we have and were never able to conceive. I felt like I left those people behind. I tell you, there is no bigger guilt than from growing up Catholic and Japanese. But Philip started to tell people at work and he told me it was fun. And that it did his soul good. So slowly and cautiously, I followed. And he is right. It is good. Now I’m abusing it.
Comments